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Friday, October 19, 2012

365 Days of Change: Ya Hoser!

 
365 Days of Change: Ya Hoser!
 
DAY 13 - PATRIOTISM (September 3, 2012)

So, what’s a Canadian, eh?   Ya Hoser! 
  
The question of what we, in the Frozen North, are really all about, has come up for discussion a lot in the last couple of months.  I’d love to answer that within one paragraph that sums it all up nicely - but the truth is, we’re a tough lot to nail down.  We are shape shifters.  We can (usually) gracefully enter and exit places without drawing undue attention to ourselves, prefer it that way, and still leave behind our Canadian-ness in gesture, nature, or influence, which tells others that somebody temperate just shared their space.  I was asked if the rumor we drink a lot could be true, but I think the Russians or Brits stagger away with the trophy on that one.  In The Unfinished Canadian: The People We Are, journalist Andrew Cohen wrote: "The Canadian Identity, as it has come to be known, is as elusive as the Sasquatch and Ogopogo. It has animated - and frustrated - generations of statesmen, historians, writers, artists, philosophers, and the National Film Board... Canada resists easy definition."

I agree.  I can’t aptly define my own identity, but I’m a Gemini and that’s another issue entirely.  I could launch into a dry lesson about our French/British conflict history that’ll leave your mouth parched, and how that has created a separatist atmosphere which pretty much corsets the country at the waistline between central and western Canada - cutting off our ability to communicate with any solidly predictable sense of unity, but how many of you ran to grab the front row seat in history class?  Canadians not getting along with other Canadians?  Is that even possible?  Start of rant: I love my Francophone friends, but if some really want to leave the rest of us Anglophones/Bilingualists due to irreconcilable differences, then they’ll need to also take their proportionate share of the gross national debt with them in the divorce agreement.  Come on!  I’m a patriotic Canadian nationalist.  I believe we’re stronger standing together as one country.  I’ll just add that it really pisses me off that many of our Canada Goose birds literally leave this country and fly south when things get chilly, and return when the heat cranks back up.  How patriotic is that?  It’s embarrassing!  It may be easy to understand as instinctive to survival in birds, but what’s our excuse for wanting to fly the coop?  End of rant.   
       
Canadians are as culturally diverse coast-to-coast as the world is curved end-to-end, with the added social advantage of being able to travel the planet with our bright red maple leaf flag slapped on our backpacks as an icon of moderate citizenry.  I think we're outstanding, without standing out or being standoffish.  We’re known as the nice people, but should never be underestimated for not having our own strong opinions, or laughed at for wearing (toe) socks with our sandals (freakin’ awesome Garry Shepherd!  How rockin’ Canadian!) It means we’re adaptable to all situations, and secure in our quirkiness. 

We’re not typically rude (with the exception of my comments in paragraph two about disunity lemming talk).  We’re not sue-happy; that’s an oxymoron to most of us who prefer negotiation strategy.  However, sometimes we’re misread as being wishy-washy for saying “sorry about that” too often.  We don’t really mean to be so sorry, it’s a default term of politeness which irritates the hell out of some Americans: “Stop that, you don’t keep doing something wrong, so why do you keep apologizing for it?!” Uh, you have a good point.  Also a Canadian reaction.  And seriously, we don’t live in igloos south of the freeze line where huskies dance in front of an audience of clapping seals.  Most of us really do live in places with electricity and heat and rush hour traffic, but we like to build quinzhees/igloos in the mountains and sleep in them for fun!  Heads up to a few uninformed Americans (here comes the polite Canadian disclaimer: none of my friends!): it would be great - if that’s okay, eh, if you would please stop referring to us as that big place that is above Montana!  Dudes, read a little more material outside of your own national agenda.  Altogether now … we are not the 51st state.  The US may have 311+ million people in contrast to our paltry 34+ million, but the word’s out on Wiki that our life expectancy is two years longer than yours, so I think we’re worth Googling as a vacation option.  A Mitt is also something we wear over our hands in sub-zero weather when the gloves no longer cut it, but we understand that one is currently running against Barack Obama for the Presidency.  We’re uber-informed about what’s going on in America.  It would be really refreshing to hear something other than Al Capone say: "I don't even know what street Canada is on."  For real?  But then I guess the argument comes around full circle without me intending it to end up this way that if we don’t know exactly how to define ourselves, we can't expect you to get an absolute handle on that either, can we?   
 
What’s a Canadian?  Well, outside of  wearing lumberjack shirts (crap, I own one) and pouring maple syrup on ice cream, my warped sense of humor likes Kem Wiwa’s (Globe & Mail) definition: “Canadians are an ambivalent lot – one minute they want to be peacekeepers, next minute they punch the hell out of each other on the ice rink.” 

We’ll figure it out - some day!  In the meantime, we'll just keep being nice.  Hopefully the rest of the world will also benefit from that example - some day?    

"A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe." - Pierre Berton