Valentine's Day: Love It or Leave It?
All warped humor aside (not easy for me), I’m not against
Valentine’s Day - even if it does share the same initials as V.D (for the
benefit of younger generations - that used to mean S.T.D.) I don’t even dislike it, despite the fact
that I’ve spent most of these “epic-romance-day-of-the-year” times single, bought
my own chocolates, or hit the movie theatre solo; that way I don’t have to return
gifts of Turtles candy with that icky-weird purple filling (WT* is that
stuff?!), or slide underneath the seat with the orphaned popcorn to escape a
flick that just doesn’t do it for me. I’m
self-assured. I can do my own thing
Valentine’s Day quite comfortably without feeling like there’s a Double-Loser neon
sign directing air traffic from my forehead.
I’m not threatened by the blaring red gift card aisle, either. It can’t hurt me. It can’t!
At best, I’ve suffered a deep paper cut filled with sparkles. At worst, I’ve walked away suddenly feeling sad
and excluded from the One-of-the-Lucky-Ones club (there’s the honest rub). Leaving the aisle with both totally sucks. I read all of the latest cards and mumble: “Are
you serious? Somebody got paid for that
lame set of lines? I can do so much better!”
Been there, tried that. I submitted
material to Hallmark, and got a nice letter back with my index cards saying my
material was too controversial and eccentric.
Alrighty then.
What I don’t like about Valentine’s Day is the
commercialized expectation that goes along with it that diamond, candy, and
flower businesses understandably fall madly in love with. I’m not okay with paying way, way
above seasonal prices for roses (if you can even get them), and I feel compassion
towards the person in each (or possible future) relationship relegated to make
the first creative move that says: “this is how much you mean to me!” (Traditionally, that used to be men a long
time ago, but in support of LGBT pride amidst
the recent dark-aged laws passed by Russia, let’s leave gender specifics out of
this one. Go, rainbow flag. Love … is …
universal.) It’s always a risk to make the
first move, even the “I Like You” one, and that all started back in third
grade when our educational system started priming us to act this way on this day by
letting us practise our fledgling writing and emotional skills on our hapless classmates. Anybody keep those cutesy kiddie cards with
the perforated edges? Go find your
former Valentines on Classmates or Facebook and freak ‘em right out with
that. You’ll either receive a
restraining order - or if you’re both single, a new Valentine card that could
re-write the chapter you never had.
So, must Valentine’s Day really happen on February 14th;
the same day that a pile of rival gangsters of Al Capone were murdered in
Chicago (the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre)?
That’s just messed! Crime and
passion aren’t really connected, are they?
I know the celebration has roots in Greek and Roman history, and even
psychology master Carl Jung married his sweetheart Emma on February 14, 1903,
so if somebody that analytical minded saw some emotional value in it, maybe I’m
being too critical. But how many of you
out there agree that there are 364 other days to choose from if you wish to
acknowledge your feelings for somebody? It
really should become a habit to acknowledge this on an ongoing, spontaneous
basis! What about Winter Solstice
Day? I can envision a card for that one
… “You always light up the day with the most darkness. Care to spend it between the sheets?”
Valentine’s Day is also a lot spookier than Halloween. When did it mysteriously partner up with International
Psychic Awareness day? Let’s look at this. One partner quietly waits (with great
expectation) for a surprise on Valentine’s Day - as if the other partner should
automatically be able to read their mind.
If that doesn’t happen, the disappointment subtly settles at the bottom
of the issues and perceptions pile until the “we have to talk”
water tower bursts at around the time most people are ready to crash … close to
midnight. I call this the “be-bitching
hour.” Tired people are lousy conversationalists and don’t stand a chance. Be careful on either end of that one. Becoming too proficient at reading somebody
else’s mind or unspoken language cues leaves little wiggle room for legitimate
screw-ups of memory down the road. Some
people expect way too much in that department.
If you want your partner to know something - speak up. And not when they’re tired. Leave them a note on the bathroom mirror on February 13th saying: "Wait 'till you see what I got you!"
Overall, I’d still like to see Valentine's cards in the
aisles leading up to February 14th, but I’d like to see society
focus less on the stereotypical celebration behaviors that cause so much stress. Spread love and recognition
around throughout the year. And for
single people, don’t be afraid to buy a really cool card and send it to
yourself in the mail. If it gets lost, you
may suddenly receive it later, when the universe saw you at a real low point. That’s not twisted, that’s simply
acknowledging the obvious: if you love and accept yourself, you’re going to be much
more grounded and effective at loving somebody else.
