365 Days of Change: Just Plain Buggy!

365 Days of Change: Just Plain Buggy!

DAY 4 - PATIENCE (August 24, 2012) 

Some of you may be reading these snack-sized blogs with interest, to see what I’ll come up with next.  I know, because the stats on hits are growing impressively.  But some of you may be thinking that while all these quick reads are fine as far as light fare goes, you've got real life problems to contend with.  A friend declared to me the other day in one of the most frustrated tones I’ve heard exit out of his mouth: “Shi*!  I’ve got fruit flies all over the place!”  
 

Well, so do I!  This is a real life problem, deserving of a longer post.  I promise to go back to snack-sized tomorrow.  So, if you also have them, read on.  I have a solution. 

 

I’m not interested in all the details behind where these creeps with freakishly huge red eyes come from, or why they emigrate into my house every summer, but they’re a regular occurrence around here that reproduces more aggressively than rabbits!  I don’t care if their DNA is comparable to mine for research purposes, they’ve gotta go (so much for my Buddhist-inclined sentiment about respecting sentient beings)! After watching a few of them power walk over hairy peaches in Safeway last week like they were buzzed on crack, it’s possible they hitched a ride in with the groceries.  Relax and be patient.  They don’t stick around forever, unless your housekeeping standards are so bad for you and great for them that they file for permanent residency. 

  

Here’s what has worked for me the last few years!  You have to be consistent with this, and be willing to change the fly trap(s) every couple of days, or you’ll never reduce the population.

1.)  Clean all your surface areas for spills, and make sure your garbage is contained ... ESPECIALLY sweet things like fruit pits.

  

2.)  Check your houseplants.  They like potting soil.  Don't let them gypsy their way from a kitchen spill into your begonias!  If it's too late, set up a few additional traps in line with their flight paths in other rooms.

3.)  See the photo?  You don't have to use a booze bottle.  That was a good evening: my ex-husband's 55th birthday celebration last week.  In fact, a wide mouth Nalgene bottle works best.

4.)  Curl up a piece of paper into a funnel comparable to what you see here, then tape it at the top and bottom.  Trim the top and bottom, but make sure you don't trim the bottom so wide as to allow them an exit back out!  Additionally, don't leave it looking like a pinhole either, or they'll never enter the bottle.

5.) Pour approximately 1.5" - 2" of orange juice into the bottle before cramming the funnel tight but lightly into the hole.  You can use any fruit juice, but they LOVE orange juice.  Seriously.  Use it.

6.)  Place the trap in the area where you see most of the flies.  Check it every few hours.  They appear to be more active at night. 

7.)  When the bottle displays a crowd of them freaking out in an attempt to figure out what they've got themselves into, place your hand over the top and take it into the washroom.  Open the toilet seat without taking your hand off the bottle.  (You'll find a creative way to do this.)

  

8.)  Without taking your hand off the top, swirl the orange juice around the funnel on the inside to trap and pull flies into the juice.  If you don't do this, they'll fly right back out when you remove the funnel and flip you the bird on their way back to whatever sweet thang they were obsessed with.

9.) Pour the entire mess into the toilet and flush.  You may need to run water over the funnel or clean out the Nalgene to eliminate stray flies.  I know this sounds gross, but which way do you want it?  Do you want to get rid of them faster, or let Nature take its sweet time?

10.)  Repeat the steps and set up new traps.

11.)  Pass along this blog link to your friends/associates currently complaining about the same damn thing! 

Be patient :-) 

"The first day one is a guest, the second a burden, and the third a pest."  - Jean de la Bruyere